Photo: Alex Wong (Getty Images)

President Donald Trump was finishing up his Monday morning—this was, of course, after he’d pistol-whipped a panda to death and drank the rancid blood of an owl—and was ready to call it a day when he asked to borrow Jared Kushner’s phone to send a few tweets.

Those tweets have basically amounted to the president calling for Americans not to buy American products from American companies that manufacture in China because he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing.